One of my most unfortunate qualities is that I have trouble telling men from women. (Believe me, it’s led to some embarrassing moments.) Even now, when I look closely at Visual Kei artists, I am utterly baffled.
Apparently, I’m not alone. I found photos of gender-bending J-rockers and enlisted Ronan (from the venerable Committee) to guess whether each person is a woman or a very pretty man. You can play along too! Give yourself one point for every correct answer. Cue game show music and flashing lights… audience bursts into applause… and we’re on the air!
RONAN: Are those one person?
CARMEN: No, it’s three different people.
RONAN: Oh god, this is a tough one, even for me. The trouble is they don't have ankles or hands clearly visible.
CARMEN: They have sizeable hands.
RONAN: I'd be able to tell in person. My best guess... Can I use a lifeline? Can I poll the audience? Mommy!
CARMEN: I don’t think your mom can help you with this one.
RONAN: I'm going to guess... All men.
CARMEN: DING DING DING!
RONAN: Score!
RONAN: These ones are more convincing, so the fear of the trap is all the more heady.
CARMEN: Ah, yes. The danger of the tranny surprise.
RONAN: I'm going to call tranny surprise on all of these lovely she-men. Male, male, male, male.
CARMEN: Um....
RONAN: Male.
CARMEN: There you go. And the answer is.... ALL MAN, ALL THE TIME!
RONAN: Oh I am good! Take that!
CARMEN: Try this one on for size.
RONAN: 2 and 4 are definitely men.
CARMEN: Is that your final answer?
RONAN: Let me look one more time. Again, we have obscured critical traits, like necks, wrists, and ankles. Yes, I'm going to call weener on 2 and 4.
CARMEN: Certain wrists are indeed delicate here.
RONAN: Ah! A clue, a clue!
CARMEN: So, 2 and 4 are men, and 1 and 3 are women?
RONAN: I didn't say anything about 1 and 3 yet. I'm doing this one piecemeal.
CARMEN: Wait, you want me to answer those first?
RONAN: Yes.
CARMEN: Hm... I think you can't do that.
RONAN: I make the rules as I go, byatch.
CARMEN: You're afraid of failure! Of staring into the laughing faces of our blog readers!
RONAN: Don't start flaunting your authoritah with me!
CARMEN: Ok, I'll tell you because it won't make a difference. Everyone in this picture... meow meow meow! All kitties.
RONAN: What... what.... NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!
CARMEN: Dum dum dooooooonnng.
RONAN: Nooooooo! Okay I'm... I'm recovered a little.
CARMEN: This is what you get for trying to game the system. But I will be nice. I will give you two out of four.
RONAN: Sniff. Thanks Carmen.
RONAN: Okay, we're doing this one at a time, left to right. Umm... I almost said girl, then noted something. I may have just saved myself from the brink.
CARMEN: What did you notice?
RONAN: A certain lack of hip.
CARMEN: The audience oooohs.
RONAN: I don't know, I had a sudden pang of doubt.
CARMEN: To play devil's advocate... everyone here IS Japanese.
RONAN: Ahah! A fair point, emcee.
CARMEN: A lack of hip is not unusual.
RONAN: I'm going to say... Boy boy on the first two.
CARMEN: You are on the brink, this is for sure. This time... You didn't fall in!
RONAN: Yes! Hallelujah! Kiss the children for me Marie Jean, I'm coming home with the big prize after this!
CARMEN: Don't be too sure, my friend. Let's finish the other two. What sayeth ye?
RONAN: I call boy on numero tres. I see crotch bulge.
CARMEN: I think your eyes are playing tricks on you.
RONAN: What... what!?! It can't... be!
CARMEN: It isn't. It is a folded piece of fabric. Still.... it's a BOY!
RONAN: YES! I'm weeping. My keyboard is moist with tears of joy and agony.
CARMEN: How about sweet Mar on the right?
RONAN: This is the big kahuna. This may be my Waterloo, folks. The deception is immaculate. The contents of the dress... inscrutable! Still, we have a trend here. I'm going to say... boy.
CARMEN: Oh dear. I will show you a video of Mar. And then you can tell me for certain.
RONAN: Video evidence!? Mein gott. A new wrinkle entirely.
CARMEN: Hahah we make it up as we go. That's how this blog works.
RONAN: A new crease in the suspiciously bulging loins of this exercise, if you will.
RONAN: Ahah! The deception crumbles instantly in motion and decent lighting.
CARMEN: Not to mention you hear Mar TALK at the end of the video.
RONAN: The entire challenge here derives from airbrushed, obscurely lit stills. I'm sorry, but boy number four fails. I call vas deferens on him.
CARMEN: I don't see a bulge... but I see an Adam's apple. The audience erupts! We've got two more....
RONAN: I have no doubt that the top three are men.
CARMEN: Men on top? So heteronormative!
RONAN: The telling murmur of testosterone sings in these veins. What can I say, I'm a traditionalist.
CARMEN: Right, you don't wear pink dresses on the weekends.
RONAN: Don't assume too much about my weekend activities. Number five gave me some hesitation, but the size of hand clinched it. It's a man, baby. Two times.
CARMEN: Feathers, long hair, skirts.... and you call the bottom two MEN?
RONAN: I'm an old pro, Carmina. I've learned the wisdom of caution.
CARMEN: If you keep this up, you'll never end up with a surprise package under the skirt. These two got meat!
RONAN: I hope I don't have to go under the skirt to find my prize.
CARMEN: You may not emerge alive... or unsoiled.
RONAN: And still I fight on. For you and the children, Debbie Jean.
CARMEN: I thought her name was Marie Jean.
RONAN: Erm... Debbie... Marie... Goes by many names. cough
CARMEN: By the way, folks, this blog is read by over five million viewers. Ok, last round!
If you prevail... you may score higher than ALL the readers who are playing along! So far, you've only called two lovely ladies manly. How about this group?
RONAN: Okay, this is tough. Soft-focus lighting. A deadly obstacle to success.
CARMEN: Unless you're in a dim nightclub trying to score. The clock is a-ticking.
A-tick, a-tock.
RONAN: Oh boy. I'm at a loss here. The faces are too distant, too foggy! Throw me a bone, people! Jennifer Leslie, I may never make it back to you now!
CARMEN: Good grief, how many she-males are you juggling? I will throw you a crumb. How do people signify if "it's a girl" or "it's a boy"?
RONAN: Yin and Yang? I'm into the Asian aesthetic here.
CARMEN: It's throwing you off.
RONAN: Your hint is too obscure? Am I right audience?
CARMEN: The audience knows! They're whispering amongst themselves! J.Lo is in the audience and even SHE is scoffing!
RONAN: J.Lo can cram it, she'd have just as much trouble if she were up here, subjected to the glare of the spotlight!
CARMEN: Time to choose: Man or Woman? Or the prize goes up the skirt forevahhh!
RONAN: Okay. Girl in the very front. Boy on the right. Boy in the back in gold. How am I doing, people!?
CARMEN: I already gave you not one, but TWO clues already!
RONAN: On the left in green, the face says girl, the hand says boy. I'm consulting a lifeline on these last two. I'm calling a friend. Merle is getting on the phone right now.
Brrring! Brring!
RONAN: Merle is uncertain!
CARMEN: J.Lo is getting up and walking out.
MERLE: Green is a boy, black is a girl? Though possibly a boy. ASIANS ARE TRICKY.
RONAN: Merle, you are not helping matters! But it looks like my lifelines are all up.
Green boy, black girl it is.
CARMEN: J.Lo just had twins. One was a boy, and one was a girl. And people tell babies apart traditionally... by the colors they wear!
RONAN: Green and black do nothing to help, however.
CARMEN: Merle is right. Asians are tricky. And they're not strictly dickly. But in this case.... except for the one in pink... they ARE!
RONAN: Woah. So how'd I score?
CARMEN: 23 out of 26.
RONAN: Hey! Not bad! Do I get the prize? Hallelujah Lisa Elizabeth, I'm comin' home!
I won the big one!
CARMEN: It's under the skirt! And it's getting bigger by the moment!
RONAN: Hoo boy. Let's not go there today, shall we?
ANNOUNCER: Today's featured Visual Kei bands were Blood, Phantasmagoria, Danger Gang, Sectmateria, Versailles, and Onmyoza. Roll credits!
Now that we've stuck a Poodle Wig on our heads, how shall we dress it up? The black miniature crown, worn slightly askew, is a staple for Goth Lolis. Here's one on yours truly (but with 100% real hair! )
Many Japanese designers make tiny crowns, but the glory goes to Suppurate System. Their handmade pieces ($85-135) are bent out of black metal, and then draped with the most decadent Gothic textures: velvet, barbs, dark cameos, dried flowers, feathers... Suppurate System was founded in 1996 by Micael and Ryonai, formerly of the industrial unit Blam Honey. Their jewelry has been worn by artists such as Mana and Közi of Malice Mizer, You of Jeanne d'Arc, Kaoru of Dir en Grey, Kaya, and Kana.
The label's masks, spiked eyepatches, and rusted "corruption beauty" pieces also deserve mention. And then there's the "dummy pierced" earring chain that lets you hook together your earlobe and lip... without permanent damage. Not something you'd find at your local Claire's!
I have a ridiculous amount of hair on my head, but even I can't replicate some of the looks found in the Bible. I could skin Basil and weave in his fur... Fortunately for the feline, there's a less violent alternative. Prisila, a Japanese company, offers a Gothic & Lolita line of synthetic wigs and extensions.
Put your hair in a bun, slip on the Sabrina Wig ($80-100), and you've got a full head of long hair with bangs. Obviously, the styles were inspired by Mana of Malice Mizer and Exo-Chika of Aural Vampire. The wig comes in four solid shades: black, blonde, and two browns.
For an aristocratic look, the Poodle Wig ($35-50) adds a curly poof or long ringlets.
The Forelock Wig ($35-45) provides bangs and wisps down the sides of your face.
If you want to add a shock of red or blue streaks, tie the Rope Wig ($20) around a ponytail or pile it on top of your head.
Extensions ($7-20) add a strip of color or longer layers.
In addition to the Gothic & Lolita collection, Prisila also offers neon cosplay hairdos, men's wigs, and glam gal bouffants. The company does not ship outside of Japan, but you can find similar wigs in your local stores or online. You can bring a photo and ask for a custom wig - I'd ask for a Marie Antoinette!
† Name/URL: Yuni † Age: 18 † Location: Paris, France. † How were you introduced to Gothic Lolita fashion?
The first time I saw Gosu Lolita, it was when I was 14 or 15. It was in a lot of mangas of Kaori Yuki, before I read Gothic Lolita Bible and discovered visual kei.
† What do you find appealing about GL style and culture?
I love the Gothic Lolita style because it's very elegant.
† What are your favorite GL clothing brands? Angelic Pretty,Metamorphose Temps de Fille,Moi-Même-Moitié, and Victorian Maiden. † Any other comments? All these clothes were my creation, so when I create these clothes I have fun with my friend.
If you would like to be the next Gothloli of the Week, please read the submission instructions here.
With a snowy fleck of shining moonlight
On the shoulder of his black silk frock-coat
So walks out Pierrot this languid evening,
Seeking everywhere for love's adventure.
“Der Mondfleck,” from Arthur Schoenberg’s Pierrot Lunaire Pierrot is the sad clown in traditional mime and theater, typically wearing a white tunic with a giant ruff, and white facepaint with black diamond-shaped eyeliner. If you ask me, one of the most striking Goth Loli-related fashions is “dark pierrot.” Adherents draw upon the lovelorn clown's imagery and highlight its most tragic and disturbing facets.
Unvollkommen, a collective led by “Luciferrot,” specializes in this type of design. The Osaka-based label has a German name that means "defective" or "imperfect." This word usually has a negative quality, but for these designers, it is the space where unexpected beauty lies:
"We do not look for perfection, but for the beauty of the unique and rare. We strongly encourage people who are physically unique to have pride in themselves and the beauty they possess. In this respect, people who are shorter or taller than average (as if averageness is a quality!!! bah!!! ), or asymmetrical in some way we openly embrace and encourage them to stand up and be proud!!"
True to their manifesto, Unvollkommen's clothes tend to use dirty pastels (greyish whites, dull pinks and greens) and black-and-white diamond prints, garnished with lush satin and floral trimmings. Nothing here is “average”: hats have giant floppy brims and are stacked with fruit, floor-length gowns have puffed sleeves the size of balloons. Each item is one of a kind and handmade from vintage materials.
Recently, Unvollkommen designed outfits for Japanese Visual/gothic crossover band Blood. In a time when concept albums have bitten the dust, this band has gone through several all-encompassing image changes since forming in 2002: vampires, Les Fleurs du Mal by Baudelaire, and now, Symphony of Chaos. Unvollkommen’s aesthetic fits hand in glove with the band's new direction, which can be described as decadent Gothic. If you live in Japan or Australia, you can see Blood's stage outfits up close, as they are performing in several cities this spring and summer.
Unvollkommen's clothing and accessories can be ordered from its new English-language website; all items can be custom-made to fit. Take a peek at the gallery of designs. I bet it'll be raddest thing you see all week.
Punk Loli is a less prominent Lolita category, but it perhaps strikes closest to a key attitude of the fashion – Do-It-Yourself. An intrepid Loli isn’t daunted by a $400 Mary Magdalene dress – she’ll roll up her lacy sleeves and sew one of her own! As usual, the Bible provides guidance: the magazine’s “homemade” editions include patterns and instructions for making elegant outfits and accessories. (If only stores outside Japan sold lace and trimmings like the ones pictured above…) Both the style and creative process are throwbacks to the days when all clothes were hand-tailored. Consequently, many Lolitas have set up shop in their bedrooms, complete with sewing machines and mannequins.
Some have turned their passion into a business. Lollie from Lolipop Lolita Fashions was inspired by the gosurori outfits she saw at anime conventions. She says: “The reason I decided to start my shop is I noticed that Lolita seems to have faded into a generic look. My idea was to bring back individuality and originality back the Lolita fashion. That's why every single piece of jewelry is original and one of a kind.”
Like many young designers, Lollie has taken advantage of her net-savvy to sell to customers worldwide. At the moment, Lolipop Lolita is only being sold online, but she will soon set up booths at anime and Japanese conventions. Lollie is also developing a clothing line of Plus Sized originals – an excellent idea, considering the lack of availability in the current market.
It’s always inspiring to meet Lolita designers who have combine creativity and entrepreneurship. You can check out Lollie’s MySpace and reach her at lolipoplolitafashions@yahoo.com
