Ruh roh! The Committee returneth with its panties in a bundle. Ronan and La Carmina debate the merits of Gothic Lolita underwear. As always, they stumble into some disturbing gender confusion.
CARMINA: What would it take to get you into these?
RONAN: ...Someone really hot wearing them?
CARMINA: HAHAHA!
RONAN: That... tends to be my policy on underwear.
CARMINA: These undies are for your gender, you know. So, David Beckham in lace tighty-whities would be a yes?
RONAN: They're for DUDES?
CARMINA: Hello!!?? Do you not see the flap?
RONAN: Don't ask me to decipher what's going on in those photos!
CARMINA: What would the purpose be otherwise?
RONAN: I see lace and my brain stops functioning. Well, my assessment is not gender transferable. These would be a dealbreaker on a dude. I would seriously question the judgment of any man who would slip into such lacy atrocities. Wouldn't you?
CARMINA: I guess these belong under the Visual Kei skirt.
CARMINA: Ok, what's going on here?
RONAN: Well, the fronts looked suspicious, but they're bizarre looking anyway. Who am I to question these Gothic Lolita disasters?
CARMINA: What is the purpose of the cigarettes? The horizontal opening held together by two bows?
RONAN: I shudder to think. I can't get excited about undies, even with cigarettes and lace.
CARMINA: Not even these??
RONAN: Where in god's name do you dig up these things?
CARMINA: In my closet!
RONAN: So you're a girl that wears guy's panties that look like they're for girls. I'm so confused right now.
CARMINA: Actually, these ones are girl's panties. And I'm joking - you know what I really wear.
RONAN: I know, I know. Nothing, sometimes!
CARMINA: SOMETIMES?
RONAN: hahahah
CARMINA: Finally, what do we think of these? They look like they'd itch.
RONAN: My chest is itchy.
CARMINA: Huh? Did you just shave?
These Gothic Lolita undies are the unsettling creations of Japanese brand Rose Hip. Check out the site and buy them, if you dare!
Counting the days until the return of Project Runway? Here's a sorry substitute - the Committee Clothing Critique is back! This time, Ronan and La Carmina argle bargle over h.NAOTO's Fall/Winter 2008 runway show at Japan Fashion Week. I'm a Goth Loli obsessive; he's a snarky fashion know-nothing - so put away your tomatoes and enjoy the show!
CARMEN: I want to snuggle up in that fiery red shrug.
RONAN: Help, mommy, it burns, take it away!
CARMEN: Aww, Basil wore a similar bonnet!
RONAN: What, did she fall into a laundry machine? Actually, the little stuffed animal of indeterminate species is pretty cute, so there's a redeeming quality.
CARMEN: Kawaii! That's Angry, a Goth cat that kills other cats. She stabs them with a giant sword. That's why she's covered in blood.
RONAN: I like it. Just be sure to crop out the clothes next time.
RONAN: So, moving on from the laundry room to the... wool shop?
CARMEN: More animals of indeterminate species.
RONAN: Indeed. Everything's very... hairy, here.
CARMEN: I don't know about the pink Sasquatch getup, but I am oddly drawn to the feather-like coattails. I'd wear that jacket.
RONAN: Aaaand, again with the hair! Not real fur in this day and age, I hope!?
CARMEN: One day, Basil will wake up bald.
RONAN: Noooo, not our poor kitty! Leave him alone! He's not a gothic loli cross dresser and he's not a potential fur coat!
CARMEN: Those pants must have taken forever to lace up.
RONAN: Seriously. Now that's commitment.
CARMEN: I must say, I'm drooling over the military number on the right. A double row of buttons gets me every time.
RONAN: The one on the right is the best of the bunch, I'll give you that. If you stripped off the layers of fashion barnacles she's festooned with, that military dress/coat could be quite acceptable. Stylish even! Imagine!
CARMEN: The dreadlocked hair goes with the homeless vibe, I guess.
RONAN: I like the one moving away from the camera on the right, with her thick funereal-looking mantilla.
CARMEN: Me too. I'm going to wear that at my Goth wedding.
RONAN: That'd go over well with your club kid pals.
RONAN: Okay, I sort of dig the long thingy that looks like it's trying to be a coat on the left. I mean, the collar is stuck firmly in fashion-as-impractical-art mode, but the rest of it has a certain charm.
CARMEN: I dig the Count Dracula collars.
RONAN: There you go, we just clash again and again!
CARMEN: What's impractical about that? It keeps the vampires away!
RONAN: It looks ludicrous, Carmen!
CARMEN: Protects your neck!
RONAN: Why do you think I carry such a thorough supply of garlic and stakes at all times?
So I can avoid wearing collars like that.
Chime in with your own witticisms, and we'll haggle with you in the comments!
Gothic Lolitas no longer need pricey plane tickets for a pilgrimage to Mecca, a.k.a. Marui Young. The Shinjuku department store recently launched an English-language website that sells Japanese Lolita brands – including Algonquins, Victorian Maiden, and Black Peace Now – and offers shipping to over 130 countries and regions. Hallelujah!
Marui One’s site includes an informative section called LiveJ, with original articles and media about J-pop culture and fashion. There’s a D’espairsRay video; an interview with animator Aimee Major Steinberg about US Goth Loli culture; a two-part analysis of hand painted lacquer chopsticks (random, but awesome).
LiveJ has just posted a nifty “Fashion Brand Review.” The latest offerings from four designers are assembled into “recommended outfits”; you can click on the links to buy the individual pieces from MaruiOne.jp. Ronan and I decided to comment on each showcase:
RONAN: I could see this being something good if it were streamlined a lot. Maybe a little less puffy and busy? Perhaps just the top half with a pair of ordinary jeans?
CARMEN: The skirt especially is too busy.
RONAN: Yes. Too much.
CARMEN: I like the top, without the bow tie. It’s too casino-worker.
RONAN: I agree.
CARMEN: What is with the black appliqué over her right eye? I want to rip it off!
RONAN: Much better.
CARMEN: I dig the way it’s classy but still really artsy.
RONAN: I actually really like this one.
CARMEN: What do you think of the dark red, dark purple, and leopard print shoes? Does it work?
RONAN: Sort of. It's not really my speed but the rest of the outfit is subdued enough that it's not bad. The shoes I could go either way on. Something more staid, just leaving the leggings as the one colorful item, would be good too.
CARMEN: The frilled blouse is awesome.
RONAN: The blouse is also good. I like that this one bridges the divide between ridiculous fashion stuff and ordinary every day wear. It's subtle enough for me to not hate it. And the model is cuter than the last one.
CARMEN: Ronan, it's the SAME MODEL! She just has different hair.
RONAN: Wow, seriously? So much better in that one!
RONAN: And now she looks bad again! Anyway, this one I hate everything from the waist down. The waist up is good.
CARMEN: Bondage pants - always a no-no. I LOVE the schoolgirl punk look when it's done well.
RONAN: Yes. Again, with a normal skirt or a pair of jeans, that top would be very cool.
CARMEN: Do you like ties on girls?
RONAN: Depends. There's a high risk of coming off as too self-consciously stylish. I think it's okay in this case.
CARMEN: I like the cut of the blazer, and the Brit patch is a nice touch.
RONAN: Hate everything.
CARMEN: What specifically irks you?
RONAN: I hate it all. There's not a bit of it I like. That's all I have to say about it.
CARMEN: I don’t like the detailing on this Black Peace Now jacket, but the cutting and fit are always impeccable. It comes through, even in the midst of this disaster.
Now it’s your turn to be fashion critic. What do you guys think of these outfits?
